Mar 29, 2009

12 Rounds: Celebrity Outhouse Review


I wouldn't call it stealing, since "12 Rounds" was made by 20th Century Fox, the same studio that also produced "Die Hard: With a Vengeance", but I felt as if I was watching John Cena in a "re-imagining", "re-invention", "remake" of "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" with a little bit of "Speed" sprinkled on top. The parallels are simple - bad guy talks to good guy on the phone, makes him do alot of embarassing things.

The movie opens with the pimped out "WWE STUDIOS" logo. I hear chuckles around the theater of 15 patrons.

Then there's a pimped out opening title sequences that recalls any Tony Scott movie opening.

Basically John Cena unrealistically plays John Cena as a cop with the wisecracking black sidekick (with his eyebrows and eyelashes nicely groomed) who tracks down a criminal mastermind named Miles Jackson (yes, really). Jackson's girlfriend is hit by a car when she tries to run from the apprehension of Cena (why I dont know, most women want to be apprehended by Cena). Jackson gets locked up, cut to one year later, Jackson escapes and kidnaps WWE go-to girl Ashley Scott (Walking Tall) and forces Cena to go throughout New Orleans disarming bombs, stopping trolleys, and answering phones.


"I gotta get my eyebrows done around 2pm"

But his house gets blown up in front of him first, much like Keanu's bus driver getting blown up in his bus to start the game.

We're stuck with Cena's metrosexual sidekick for half the movie, until he gets blown up while following a lead a la Jeff Daniels in "Speed" (it helps that the producer also produced "Speed").



Keanu: Hey Cena, you stole my wardrobe!
Cena: Dude, we're making "Speed" again! We're just not calling it "Speed!"
Keanu: Whoaaa!


By the fifth round you're just counting down the rounds and it seems like the filmmakers weren't as enthusiastic as Round 1; for Round 8 Cena has to pick a phone number. Boom, onto Round 9.

I'm already thinking "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" and "Speed." But the funniest part about this movie besides the hero moments of Cena jumping onto a helicopter or Cena pulling up an overweight Hawaiian from an elevator that's triggered to collapse (this scene drew applause from the audience) is Miles Jackson's "Real Plan." He made Cena jump thru all these hoops so he can steal from a bank.

But wait, didn't Jeremy Irons do this in "Die Hard: With a Vengeance?" Yeah. And director Renny Harlin (who directed "Die Hard 2") tries to pass it off as his own.

"12 Rounds" is for those who want to see a poor remake of "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" but who didn't see "Speed."
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Mar 28, 2009

"12 Rounds" settles for 6th place opening day



Doesn't look like Cena will make "13 Rounds" anytime soon.

1. Monsters vs Aliens (DWA/Par) OPENER, Fri $16.7M [4,104], Wkd $57M
2. Haunting in Connecticut (LG) OPENER, Fri $9.4M [2,732], Wkd $23M
3. Knowing (Summit) Week 2, Fri $4.7M (-47%) [3,337], Wkd $14M, Cume $45.5M
4. I Love You Man (Par) Week 2, Fri $4M (-33%) [2,717], Wkd $12M, Cume $36.4M
5. Duplicity (Uni) Week 2, Fri $2.3M (-51%) [2,579], Wkd $7.3M, Cume $25.4M
6. 12 Rounds (WWE/Fox) OPENER, Fri $2M [2,331], Wkd $5.5M
7. Witch Mountain (Dis) Week 3, Fri $1.5M [3,268], Wkd $5M, Cume $53M
8. Taken (Fox) Week 9, Fri $875K [1,961], Wkd $2.5M, Cume $137M
9. Last House (Rogue/Uni) Week 3, Fri $850K, Wkd $2.5M, Cume $28.3M
10. Watchmen (WB) Week 4, Fri $825K [2,010], Wkd $2.7M, Cume $103.3M
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Mar 25, 2009

WEIRD FACTS ABOUT NIC CAGE, ACTOR


Apparently Celebrity Outhouse isn't the only one who thinks Nicolas Cage is a WEIRD actor. Check out what Yahoo! posted from Getback.com:

Nicolas Cage is a hit-or-miss kind of guy. He's starred in huge blockbusters ("National Treasure") as well as big-time flops ("The Wicker Man"). This weekend it looks like he has another hit on his hands: his new film, "Knowing," landed in the #1 spot at the box office.

It's pretty common knowledge that Cage is a brilliant actor ("Raising Arizona," "Moonstruck," "Adaptation") who has made more than his share of missteps, both professionally ("The Weather Man" and "Bangkok Dangerous") and personally (Lisa Marie Presley and some of those hairdos).

But that's just scratching the surface of the Oscar-winning star. We've unearthed the strange ways he's dedicated himself to his acting craft, his eccentric passions and possessions, and his dangerous family background. Get to know Nicolas Cage a bit better by checking out these weird facts about the man and his career through the years.

Eating Bugs Was His Idea
Always the consummate method actor (or maybe just plain crazy), Nic once ate a real cockroach in a movie. Actually, he ate a trio of real cockroaches, because it took three takes to get it just right. While filming 1989's "Vampire's Kiss," Nic did his own stunt eating and swallowed the crusty insects. Still, he has no one to blame but himself. The script had his character eating raw eggs, but Cage didn't think that would be weird enough.


He Once Had a Pet Octopus
Nic has been known for owning exotic animals. He admitted once to having a pet octopus, claiming that studying beings that are totally different helps him with his acting. Guess that also explains the salt-water sharks, the lizard, and the crocodile. For a time, he even had two pet King Cobras (Moby and Sheba) that he would observe for hours from a specially constructed cell in his home, with a glass of wine in his hand and a bottle of poison antidote very nearby. One night he mentioned his pets on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno," and his neighbors immediately began fighting to get the poisonous reptiles removed. Cage donated them to a local zoo a short time later.

His Home Is His Castle
Nic is an avid buyer of real estate. He has been known to own up to 15 properties at one time, but he still seems to suffer from a serious case of castle-envy. Even though he once lived in a fake castle on the outskirts of Los Angeles, it has been reported that he always wanted to import an authentic castle from overseas. In July of 2006 he bought the 500-year-old Schloss Neidstein, a mini castle ("mini" in this case meaning 28 rooms, including ten bedrooms and five bathrooms) in the Bavarian village of Etzelwang. And in 2007 he bought Midford Castle near Bath, England. Will one of these historic edifices be disassembled and reassembled in the States for Nic? Let's hope he has the sense to leave them be.

He Owned the Shah of Iran's Lamborghini
Nic once said that he sees beautifully designed cars as art. That might explain his insanely huge rare car collection. Over the years he has owned, among many others, a $140,000 Ford GT (which he donated to the Universal Technical Institute shop class), a $100,000 1989 Porsche Sportster (that ended up dumped in a lake after some two-bit car thieves ripped out the stereo), and a 1973 Triumph Spitfire 1500 (that he bought while he was still a ticket-taker at a movie theater, sold because it cost too much money to maintain, and repurchased years later to refurbish). But the most interesting car that Cage has owned is a Lamborghini Miura SVJ. Built for Prince Ali-Reza Pahlavi, the Shan of Iran, the car was confiscated from the Imperial garage in the 1979 revolution and was sold at a 1995 auction. Cage bought the car in 1997 for $500,000 and kept it until 2004.

He Proposed to Patricia Arquette the Day They Met
The story goes that Nic told Patricia on the day they met that he loved her and was going to marry her. She then gave him a scavenger-hunt list of impossible tasks to prove his love. When he returned with several of the items she requested (including reclusive author J. D. Salinger's autograph), Arquette fled, frightened by the intensity of his enthusiasm. It wasn't until they met again eight years later that they fell in love and wed. Guess Patricia should have listened to her gut the first time. The couple separated after nine months, though their divorce was not finalized for another four years.

Nic Is Obsessed with Comic Books
Most people know that Cage starred in 2007's "Ghost Rider," a Marvel comic movie. He also has a new Marvel comic movie coming out, "Kick-Ass"; this time he plays a cop, not the superhero. But did you know that he once had the biggest celebrity comic book collection ever, which sold at auction for $1.68 million? Or that Cage and his older son, Weston, wrote a comic book series called "Voodoo Child"? In fact, Cage loves comics so much that his stage name was taken from a comic book character, Luke Cage, and his son with his third wife, Alice Kim Cage, is named after none other than Superman himself, Kal-el.

He Goes a Long Way for a Good Collectible
There must have been an easier way to get a behind-the-scenes tour of Graceland, but in August 2001, Nic decided to take the exclusive walk-through by wedding the King's daughter, Lisa Marie. Although not as creepy as her previous union with Michael Jackson, this marriage was odd because of Cage's obsession with Elvis. On top of the shrine to the King that he kept in his house, Cage based his character in "Wild at Heart" on him, and he donned a white-spangled jumpsuit in the Elvis-riddled "Honeymoon in Vegas." Not surprisingly, the marriage lasted only four months.

Don't Make the Coppolas an Offer They Can't Refuse
Forget the ex-wife melodrama, Nic Cage (born Nicolas Kim Coppola) is the first to admit that his own family is surprisingly similar to the one featured in his uncle's legendary series of "Godfather" movies. In addition to Oscar-winning director Francis Ford Coppola, Cage's clan also includes his Oscar-winning grandfather, Carmine Coppola (composer of "The Godfather: Part II") and Oscar-winning cousin Sofia Coppola (director of "Lost in Translation"). But they have more than just their talent in common, according to Cage. "It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion," he explained. "We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy, you know. Killers, even." Good genes to have in the cutthroat world of Hollywood.
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Mar 21, 2009

We Are All in the Knowing Now...


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Ron Silver RIP

Actor Ron Silver passed away on March 15th at the age of 62 from esophageal cancer...check other sites for further info.

The Outhouse salutes Ron Silver for "TimeCop" -

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Mar 20, 2009

Josh Hartnett Armani Ad

Josh Hartnett Magazine Ad

hahaha Hartnett! Came across this today in an entertainment mag. He looks like a dirty scumbag or a male escort.
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Mar 13, 2009

A Vin Diesel classic

Push this movie on your grandkids.



Vin Diesel, comedy genius.
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B Grade Actor Stumble! Battle

steve guttenberg
ernie hudson
andy garcia


While Andy Garcia, Steve Guttenberg, and even Ernie Hudson all have Stumble! star ratings of 1 (not even Brad Pitt has a higher rating), Michael Keaton sadly has zero...

michael keaton
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