Keanu's Gift to us

Check out Keanu as a wifebeatin' hick in "The Gift"

Master P: Da Last Don

We have rules in the Outhouse, but this rule has to be broken – showcase a bad rapper actor’s movie clip. If you’ve seen our previous video post about bad rapper actors, that wasn’t really a showcase. This on the otherhand is. I don’t even think we can call Percy Miller aka Master P an actor. The showcase is from his movie “Da Last Don.” (Yes, I’m serious), his “ghetto masterpiece.”

I don’t like the term “Ghetto movie” that Master P throws around. What does that mean? Lowering your standards when watching an independent movie for the hood? I didn’t know people (no matter where you live) would say, “Fuck Transformers, let’s watch Da Last Don.”

Everything from his range of emotion when someone is killed to him telling a story about marshmallows in this movie rates it a cut below every Nicolas Cage movie. Of course, Jerry Bruckheimer cast Master P in “Gone in 60 Seconds”, so there definitely is a devil, friends.

“Unnnh!!!”

A brief history on this Outhouse classic:

“Da Last Don”
· Master P spent hours watching “Scarface” to copy Al Pacino’s performance.
· It was originally released to coincide with Master P’s alleged retirement double CD of the same name. He didn’t retire, and it came out a few weeks after the CD.
· It was only available through VHS in 1998.
· The DVD is a VHS transfer.
· The movie runs 45 min. not including the 4-minute end credits/music video.
· The DVD was purchased for $1 on Ebay.


Nino: A combination of Tony Montana/Michael Corleone/Nino Brown(?!) He’s black, but the movie passes him for half Italian since his father was. Plus he’s got that New Orleans drawl.

Rico: Scarface rip-off played by actor with bad Scarface impression. I think it’s Master P’s subliminal message to the viewer that his Nino is more badass than Tony Montana.

D.J.: Nino’s little brother who gets shot in the leg.

Alyssa (aka Chocolate Tiger): Nino’s ho.

Josh Duhamel goes running with his hot trainer

While Shia was driving under the influence this weekend, his Transformers 2 co-star Josh "Monkey" Duhamel was going for a run to get buff like action star with his incredibly hotter-than-Fergie personal trainer.

JAMIE FOXX "STEALTH" DEATH SCENE

Academy Award Winner Jamie Foxx followed up his "RAY" with "STEALTH", much like when Halle Berry followed up "MONSTERS BALL" with "CATWOMAN." The weird part was he took the Steven Seagal "Executive Decision" role; where the big actor dies midway through the movie, yet the studio markets it like the actor is in the entire movie. Genius, but he doesn't even get a cool death scene. This was the equivalent of disposing your McDonald's food tray. Even Foxx admitted this movie sucked cock, which is why he belongs in the Outhouse. Check out one of the lamest death scenes in cinematic history, only difference is there's alot of jivetalkin' before he dies. Don't you just love comedians in action movies?

Jon Lapaglia

We all know Anthony Lapaglia, one of the Robert Deniro/Al Pacino clones...



but how about Jon Lapaglia?


Jon happens to be Anthony's younger brother and they both share something in common besides for the same mother...both are bad actors! Anthony at least gets offered roles in known films but Jon is just miles below his brother. He is on X-Movie level, if there is such a thing, and has that Lapaglia face that is hysterical to watch.

Can J.L. stand the pressure of electric torture?


Maybe we can get Daniel Baldwin and Jon Lapaglia to star in a movie together, I can see the greatness now...imagine when UPN, Spike TV or USA decide to debut it...

On a side note for one of our Outhouse fans...John has been changed to Jon, thanks Anonymous - The Jon Lapaglia fan.

Vin Diesel chases own tail with sequels to breakout movies

If it wasn't enough that people ask the question, "Where's Vin Diesel been?" Diesel has returned with the ultimate summer bomb, "Babylon A.D." But even Diesel knows why that movie got dumped at the end of August.

So in order to keep those checks rolling in, he's nearly finished with his work on "FAST AND FURIOUS" (yes, just take out "THE" in the title and you've got the title to the fourth).

And today comes word that he's going to revive his beloved James Bond rip-off "xXx."
According to Rotten Tomatoes,

The producers of the XXX franchise made every effort to remove Vin Diesel from the series. Not only did they turn the franchise over to Ice Cube for the sequel, they filmed a short for the XXX DVD where Diesel's character, Xander Cage, gets his trademark scalp blown off.

Now, director Rob Cohen and Diesel have sat down with Revolution Studios' Joe Roth to discuss bringing Cage back for XXX3. "Joe Roth came to the dubbing stage [of The Mummy] just last week, sat down and said, 'I own all the rights to XXX. Vin wants to do another one. Would you be interested?'" said Cohen. "I said, 'Yeah, if I can sit down with everybody and make sure that the rules are set."

It would be easy enough to explain that Cage just faked his death. "You mean when I blew his scalp off? Never has a director gotten so much revenge on an actor. I was so mad. I was so angry by the time we got back from the press tour that when Sony came to me and said, 'We're going to have a new one, we want you to shoot a scene that passes the torch.' I said, 'Hell with passing the torch. Let's kill him.' Now I'm a little embarrassed by that, but I just laughed, because it was just out of anger."

Everyone's all grown up now, so XXX3 should be tension-free. "Yes, he has had a baby girl. He's in a good relationship. I had dinner with him before he did Fast and Furious. He's a different man. He's been sobered by the ups and downs of a career, and I think he now understands what a good synergy we had on this set and that he took for granted. That would be a good thing, and I also appreciate what he brings to the table, which is quite a bit. It was just like we were young and foolish, or he was young and I was foolish."


Vin Diesel is the new Prince. He wants you to pay for his movies like it's 2001/2002.

Jason Statham head

The day is off to a terrific start. Like dangling a piece of meat in front of a pitbull, I found an image of a big Jason Statham head at LATIMES backlot and I had to post this. He's filming his next action movie (that's what he calls them) and I can't wait to make fun of it.

Vin Diesel Happy Birthday!!

This is a very special Outhouse Birthday shout-out for one of our favorites...Vin Diesel, Mr. XXX himself is 41 years old today. I seriously thought this guy would only be like 33 right now.

2 Gay 2 Curious

2 Gay 2 Curious

Papa Smurf Speaks Stallone

When Clint Eastwood Eats, You Listen.

Gene Hackman, Smack That

From the movie "Absolute Power", watch Gene Hackman in action.

Nicolas Cage Top Comic Geek

According to PulpSecret, Nic Cage has been named Top Comicbook Geek. He collects comics and checks for big budget crap movies.

Nicolas Cage stoned at Comic Con for Ghostrider

Arnold loves Japanese products

This reminds me of the Simpsons' Mr. Sparkles commercial.

Arnold Collateral Drama Clip

Mr Freeze Transforms

Nicolas Cage in ASCII

Nic Cage has been transformed into ASCII

Keanu in "The Watcher"

Ted Logan as a serial lady killer

Commando vs. Cobra

Two action stars with different styles. Back in the 80's and stretching into the 1990's, Schwarzenegger and Stallone battled for top position in commercial B movie action films. Both action stars had accents even though one was not supposed to and made more money off these types of movies than any other actor in history. Commando was released October 4th 1985 and Cobra May 23rd 1986. Check out the steroid user and the Governator in two classic scenes and see how each of them have different approaches when dealing with the opposition.

Scottish villains are funny

I was watching "All About The Benjamins" the other day and noticed that the villain is a full-blown Scot. The director didn't give him a dialogue coach, he was able to use his Scottish accent! This villain, played by Tommy Flanagan is about as menacing as Scrooge McDuck. An Outhouse original.

Goldblum The Fly on Law and Order

The Fly solves crime. Jeff Goldblum is replacing a character on Law and Order next season.

Eddie Murphy Bringing Beverly Hills Cop IV

Eddie Murphy is doing what most actors and filmmakers are attempting to do these days...make sequels for classic films that haven't been out for 20 years. Will Eddie leave the family movies behind or will this be classic Axel Foley?

Revolta in "Taking of Pelham 123"

A pic of John Travolta filming his new movie "The Taking of Pelham 123". It's a remake, and you can guess by his mustache that he's the villain. Lots of yelling, screaming, and talking through his teeth.